Mitsuki
by anja-chan
Summary: Misa is pregnant and is happier about it than when she was voted Miss Teen Japan. But where is Light so she can break the joyous news? And if Ryuuzaki has been dead for the last ten days, how could he call her? Eventually, the title WILL make sense.
1. Chapter 1

**Misa's Happiness**

XOXOXOXO

Misa stared at the two little intersecting blue lines. They crossed each other perfectly, forming a delicate plus sign. It meant the test was positive.

It meant she was pregnant.

It meant she was going to have Light's baby.

"Yaaay!" Misa squealed in delight, dropping the home pregnancy testing kit and racing out of the bathroom. She ran around the small apartment once and then flopped onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling, a contented smile wrapped around her pretty features. She squeezed her eyes shut and felt another shriek of joy bubble up from her tummy and escape her lips. Light was going to marry her and then they would have their child and everything would be perfect. She and Light and their baby would be the new world's happiest family and live blissfully.

How would she tell Light? The thought made a flock of butterflies whirl through where her baby was growing and she sat up cross-legged on the cushions, pulling a throw pillow into her arms and hugging it. For a moment, she wondered if he would be angry with her, because after all, she had told him she was taking birth control pills, but… well, Misa_really_ wanted to be connected to Light forever. Not only that, but she was sure she would do her best to be a great mother and Light….

It was obvious how much Light felt for his own family, how difficult it was for him to deceive them constantly even if it never showed on his face, and how much he cared about family values and life morals. Light would make an excellent father, and it was only natural that Kira and Second Kira would procreate and raise the perfect child in their perfect world. Not that they would be able to tell their son or daughter right away that his or her parents were the god and goddess of the new world. That would have to wait until he or she was older… Misa erupted into a fit of giggles into her pillow. Her imagination had already taken her five or ten years after the baby's birth!

Her laughter subsided and she realized she still hadn't thought of what she would say to Light. He wouldn't be angry with her, she realized. He would only be concerned about her and the baby's safety and how to support all of them. He would be happy, probably quite shocked, but he'd recover quickly and then he'd hug Misa and tell her how much he loved her. Misa buried her face into her pillow, hearing Light's velvety voice whisper in her ear, telling her how beautiful she was, how he wanted to stay with her forever. He'd stroke her hair and run his fingers through the last several inches, freeing any tangles. She could feel her face turning hot and red in the pillow at the memory of other moments her lover had said and done similar things.

Misa sighed happily and pulled her face out of the pillow, setting it to the side and stepping off the couch. She still needed to get dressed out of her pajamas, put on something extra nice for the occasion, and then make sure to eat a healthy breakfast.

The blonde model bounced into the bedroom where she carefully opened up her closet doors and selected a shirt. She held the black spaghetti-strap top up to her chest and looked at it in the full length mirror on the back of the closet door, striking several poses. No, it seemed too young. Misa now needed something that said she was mature and capable of raising a child. She put the top away and grabbed a dark red top with long sleeves and silver clasps. She held the silky material up and took it off its hanger, trying to look dignified and classy. Maybe it would work, but she'd have to try it on and then find a skirt or slacks. Strappy sandals would like nice and she had a pair of lace-up ones from her most recent shoot that she'd been dying to wear….

She stripped her top off and opened a drawer, plucking out a marron bra that might somewhat match the blackened crimson shirt. She hooked it in place, letting the shirt drape over her shoulder as she did so, and then decided to take off her shorts as well. Sometimes, it was simply easier starting from scratch and she knew the shorts would only clash with the shirt. Besides, Misa really liked the pink frilly panties she was wearing.

She pulled the shirt on over her head and watched her reflection critically. It was good. Light would be able to pick up on its subtle class, yet it was still cute enough that it didn't seem a drastic change from what she normally wore. She peered into the closet again, moving several brightly colored skirts aside to where she kept her black ones. She chose one that reached mid thigh, and grabbed a pair of black fishnets to go with it. Her new sandals had closed toes and extra wide lacings, so as she reviewed it in her mind's eye, the model thought it would look perfect. She pulled on the fishnets, then the skirt, and did a small twirl in front of the mirror, her skirt flaring out slightly.

Perfect.

Misa smiled prettily and then leaned in closer to inspect her face. She hadn't put on her make-up yet, but… was the radiant glow of a pregnant mother visible in her complexion already? Misa patted her cheeks gently, and then abruptly stood up straight, attaching a benevolent smile to her features, imagining that the baby could somehow see it already.

Misa's right hand went to her belly, even though she was still model-thin. Still looking into the mirror, she turned sideways and bent slightly backwards. She tried to push out her stomach, but she only managed a centimeter by holding her breath. She placed her left hand on the small of her back. What would it be like to have a baby between her hands? She'd grow round and then have to do work for maternity magazines instead of teen pop culture. Although, being Misa-Misa, she was sure that she would probably have at least one or two articles asking her about her pregnancy. And then they'd do follow-ups after the baby was born….

Misa and Light would have to be careful to make sure the media or its effects did not harm the baby. Too much press, good or bad, would make the baby stand out too much from his or her peers. What if the baby wasn't able to make proper friends because of it?

Misa let out her the breath she was holding and dropped her hands, realizing she was being silly again. Of course Light's baby would make friends. She was just getting all the normal fears a mother had. She took a deep breath and let it out smoothly. Of course the baby would be beautiful. Of course he or she would be amazingly intelligent. She smiled to herself and felt the same euphoric rush she had felt when she had first seen the little positive symbol. Unable to help herself, she let out another delighted squeal and closed the closet door, jumping from one foot to the other, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head.

It was really a dream come true.

She exited the room and bounded into the tiny kitchen. She had set the rice-cooker to a timer the night before and so now it was already made. The miso soup had also been made previously, so she simply set it to warm before getting the other necessary supplies. She pulled out a pan from the cupboard, a small fish and several sauces from the fridge, and cooking chopsticks from a drawer. Before actually opening any of the ingredients, she dressed herself in the apron that all the crew from_ Misa-Misa's Happy Sweets_ had signed and then given to her at the end of last season. Being on television like that had really been a lot of fun. She wondered if she would invite the manager she had had at that time to her and Light's wedding. Tying her hair back with the extra tie around her wrist, Misa got to work, remembering that now Light's child depended on her eating right. Should she also have some fruit with breakfast? Letting the fish cook, she pulled an apple out of the fridge and took a bite, a bit of juice running past her lips and onto her chin. She giggled as she imagined how Ryuk would say that it was obviously a juicy apple. She contemplated getting another apple out of the fridge in case the Death God returned with Light soon, but then realized that if Light hadn't returned the night before, he was likely to spend the day at work too. It must be taking Light longer to clean out the old building than he had planned. She didn't blame him; after all, there were a lot of rooms that Ryuuzaki had never allowed anyone else into and now that he was dead… Light was probably searching all of them closely for clues about his rival and where he had come from.

Misa turned back to her cooking and realized the fish was ready. She set the fish on a small plate, spooned some rice into a bowl, ladled some miso soup into another bowl, and poured herself a glass of juice.

"Time to eat!" she said aloud, pretending that the small life inside her could understand. She would say that every time before they had a meal and the baby would know what it meant even before it was born. Light's baby would most likely be that smart.

She took a bite of her fish, before her thoughts made her well over with happiness again and she either laughed or her smile stretched too far across her face for her to eat properly. Was this her being hormonal because of the pregnancy? Or just her naturally bubbly personality pushed to the highest range of happiness she had even known?

She kept eating and decided that either way, it didn't matter. She was exhilarated by the promise of her future and of her impending marriage to Light. She suddenly gasped, gulping down a piece of fish. If Light were going to marry her, how would he propose?!

Another cry of glee rushed out in a torrent from her lips. Light was a romantic and a perfectionist. Hers would be the most beautiful proposal ever. There would probably be candles, and yet, he would make it a surprise. Misa felt the excitement roll around her stomach like a flutter of butterflies playing tag. She knew that without a doubt, after she told Light, she'd have this feeling until the moment he proposed. Feeling suddenly unable to sit still for too long, Misa gobbled up the rest of her breakfast quickly and set the dishes into the small sink, before skipping to the bathroom. She could clean them up later.

Right now, some fresh air would do her and the baby some good. She'd have to stay healthy and in good shape throughout her pregnancy or risk a miscarriage. The vague thought of losing what she now had scared her, but she pushed it out of her mind. She would take good care of her body and Light of course would also be there to make sure nothing bad happened. Light was good about that.

In the small space, Misa picked up the pregnancy test from where she had dropped it and set it carefully on the counter. She pulled out her make-up, choosing a maroon eye shadow and a dark brown liner. For a simple outing, she decided against using foundation—her skin was clear enough, and so she applied a touch of lipstick and smacked her lips in front of the mirror. Satisfied with her appearance, she exited the bathroom and headed for the door.

She grabbed a beige coat from by the front door and sat down to lace up her sandals. It was November, so she also took a scarf and carefully positioned it around her neck. She took up the purse she had taken to using lately, and checked her cell phone battery. It was fine. The umbrella stand gave her pause, however, and she opened the door to look outside. No rain, but a cold breeze. Believing an umbrella would only get in the way, Misa stepped outside, locking the door behind her and humming merrily.

After all the death she and Light dealt daily through the notebooks, how nice it was to realize that together they could also start life.

XOXOXOXO

It was late and Light still hadn't returned. She had tried calling his cell phone, but it must have been turned off because it kept redirecting her to his voicemail box. It was the least she had seen of him since Ryuuzaki's death nearly two weeks ago and now she was beginning to worry. Then again, there were hundreds of rooms in the Kira Investigation Headquarters and probably lots more to do in packing everything up. Light had said that the new headquarters would be their apartment, but she supposed they would probably need to do something with all the stuff that could not fit into their flat. She thought about calling him again, but knew Light never kept his cell phone on inside the building unless it was of the utmost importance and he was expecting a call.

Still, she supposed that he could have expected a call from his girlfriend if he hadn't been home since the day before.

Misa sighed, frowning slightly in her worry for Light. But then again, she couldn't stay upset for longer than a minute as her mind fast-forwarded to what would happen when Light arrived home. Her face broke into a smile and her heart skipped several beats. She wondered whether she'd ever get used to realizing that she was going to be _Yagami _Misa, and that she and Light would raise _their_ baby together. Misa fell to her side on the couch, feeling a warm contentment spread all the way down to her toes and an unusual sensation settle into her stomach. She felt as though she knew what complete bliss would feel like. As soon as Light came home….

Misa drifted off into a peaceful slumber, images of Light smiling at her and the baby playing gently through her mind.

XOXOXOXO

Her phone was ringing. Misa got sleepily off the couch and picked it up from where it was vibrating and blaring a J-pop song from the coffee table. She let it continue to ring while she rubbed her eyes and cleared her throat from sleep, peering at the name and time.

4:56 AM. And it was a call from Mr. Mochi, her former manager… or rather Mr. Mogi, the police officer that was assigned to be her manager at one time. Why was he calling? Or perhaps Light's phone wasn't working and he was trying to contact her?

Misa cleared her throat once more and flipped open the phone to shut up the now-annoying ring tone. She'd have to change it later.

"Hi, this is Misa-Misa!"

"Good morning, Miss Amane. Could you please come to my building this morning?" The voice belonged to neither her beloved Light nor the police officer turned model-manager. And it wasn't the gruff tones of Light's father, or the child-like ones of the police officer Matsuda turned model-manager Matsuri.

"Who… who is this?" Misa asked. She was confused about the speaker on the other end. It sounded mostly like Ryuuzaki without the voice modifer, but Ryuuzaki had died nearly two weeks ago. Because of that and Light's new freedom, she and Light had been 'celebrating' every night since then, which was why Misa was in her current condition. That thought made her smile, and do a little twirl while holding the phone.

"This is Ryuuzaki."

Misa stopped all movement. She had though it sounded like him, but it couldn't actually be the dead detective… could it?

"Ryuu… zaki?" Misa's mind raced, wondering if Light knew and what his plans were. That was probably why he hadn't come home yet. What would he want her to do? Act natural. Act as if she were not the Second Kira. She inhaled deeply and then began speaking rapidly. "Oh, Ryuuzaki, is it really you? Are you really okay? Because I heard you died and I was really sad, but now that you're talking to me, it can't be true, right?"

"Yes, I am alive, Miss Amane. Please come to my building right away." The voice sounded like the monotone she always heard from the detective. But even if it wasn't Ryuuzaki, it was a message to go to the Kira headquarters and that meant she would be able to see Light. Somehow he would be able to notify her as to what to do in this strange turn of events. He always did, and that was why she loved him.

XOXOXOXO

* * *

_I know, pretty crazy that I would suddenly turn up with a Misa-centric fic, but seriously this was so light-hearted and fun to write. (Gah, I didn't even notice I just made a pun until after I wrote that...) Anyway, it'll probably be really slow and the next chapter won't be out for a long time, but please drop a review. If people seem to really go for it, I bet I'll write faster. Imagine that._

_Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know if I did anything wrong._

_anja-chan _


	2. Chapter 2

**Misa's Sorrow**

XOXOXOXO

November 29, 2007

She was let in without any problems, the doors opening remotely to permit entrance. She was used to the mechanical whirrings of gears turning and locks clicking. Everything looked and felt the same until she entered the main investigation room. It looked so bare, the monitors removed from the walls, the filing cabinets missing, and even the coffee maker had been stripped away. The place had also lost its atmosphere of camaraderie that was usually found in a well-lit workplace. Probably because half the lights were not in use. Misa found herself wondering if the cameras were still functioning as well.

There wasn't much left in the room: a small couch behind a little coffee table, a plain looking chair next to that. It was also oddly bare of people, not the busy little hub of the Kira investigation like she remembered from the days when Light and Ryuuzaki had been handcuffed together. No Light, no Light's father, not even Matsuri/Matsuda, her manager/police officer. Now, there was only one other person in the room, Misa saw. Near the long table that had housed the computers was a wheeled chair, in it sat a lumpy figure with a blotch of red floating above his head. It was misty in the way that meant he was alive, but without his face, she couldn't make out the characters.

He sat on the desk chair, his back to her, and she couldn't see his legs. They were hunched up under him, a lot like Ryuuzaki had always been. Was he really alive? Her eyes darted above his bushy head of black hair trying to make out the words.

The chair swiveled around to face her and she was confronted by Ryuuzaki's soulless black eyes. It sent an unmistakable chill of fear down her spine. Something was wrong, out of place. He should have been dead; Light had told her he was dead. Her eyes, drawn downward to the dark depths of the detective's now rose over his head again.

_L Lawliet_, she read to herself. Of course. That was his name; she had seen it before, right before she had been arrested. How could she have forgotten such a strange name?

Now, where was Light? She knew she wouldn't forget it again, not now that she knew how much was riding on her ability to remember it. Ryuuzaki's true name would be like an extra gift for Light, after she told him of her condition. It meant that their child would live without the threat of the creepy detective.

Except… Misa blinked rapidly. Why didn't _L Lawliet_ have a lifespan attached to his name? Obviously she didn't know how to read the numbers to judge time, but the absence of them at all was disturbing. That should only occur if he had ownership of a Death Note….

"Miss Amane, will you please have a seat?" Ryuuzaki gestured politely to a seat next to her. He stood from the swivel chair and slouched his way closer to her, his bare feet slapping the hard floor gently.

"Okay," Misa replied, unable to think of anything else to do and no reason to deny the detective's request. She lowered herself onto the couch and waited. Feeling her muscles start to tense, she checked her nails to give herself an air of calm and relaxation. Where was Light? Shouldn't he know that she didn't want to be left alone with this creepy pervert?

"When can I see Light?" Misa asked, the words tumbling out of her mouth as L climbed into chair opposite her, folding body nearly into a pretzel.

Ryuuzaki shook his head, but his eyes never left hers, almost as if he were rotating his head around his sunken sockets. "Light is dead."

She blinked, uncomprehending. Light was… dead? Her heart skipped a beat before she realized that Ryuuzaki had always loved playing mean tricks. Recovering her usual demeanor somewhat shakily, she forced herself to smile at the monochrome man across from her. "Don't be silly, Ryuuzaki. I'm not that gullible."

"Last night, Light confessed that he was Kira." The abruptness of his statement caught Misa off guard, and she counseled her eyes into returning back to their normal width. No, Ryuuzaki would say this, of course he would. He was testing her, trying to discover if she and Light were the first and second Kiras. Even though Ryuuzaki was scaring her, she had to be strong; she couldn't fail Light.

She worded her response carefully, letting her acting skills take over. She needed just the right amount of confidence and bragging to fill her sentence. She met Ryuuzaki's opaque eyes confidently, pursing her lips in the way she had done a thousand times before when he had accused her of being Kira. "But he couldn't do that because he's not Kira. Misa knows because _she_ lives with him."

"Light confessed and then he died of a heart attack," was the only reply.

"But if he were Kira, he wouldn't have died of a heart attack," Misa retorted, joyous in finding the hole in Ryuuzaki's logic. Honestly, being the great detective he was supposed to be, shouldn't he have been able to figure that one out? There was no way she would believe Light was dead because of that. Misa wasn't as stupid as everyone seemed to think she was.

"The Death God Ryuk killed him."

Misa's reply died on her lips. The detective should not know of Ryuk. That must mean… Light was… Light had been… Light….

"No," Misa whispered, her blue eyes widening, yet she unable to see, "No. No. NO!" She screamed at the detective, her reply working as both a denial of Light's death and of his deathly profession. He couldn't be dead… not Light, not when he was going to marry Misa finally… this was all wrong. Where was Light to save her from this terrible Ryuuzaki?

"You are the Second Kira, Misa Amane."

"NO! Where's Light?! You're lying!" But she knew he wasn't; she _was_ the Second Kira. But was he telling the truth about her lover? Why wasn't Light there? He probably would have called her or come home last night if he could. He wouldn't have allowed a situation like this to ever happen. She leaned in closer to the detective, her voice hysterical as if she had been possessed by a vengeful demon. "Let me see him!"

"Miss Amane, please calm down."

"No! I want to see Light! Where is he?" Eyes darting wildly around the room, Misa stood from her chair shakily. Her heels clicked on the floor as she took a few steps towards the stairs. The room swam around her, the familiar places where she and Light had seen each other now cold and dark. Had that been the reason Ryuuzaki hadn't turned on the lights? Denial continued to batter against the gut-wrenching truth. Light couldn't be… he had to be here somewhere; she just had to find him. She had been the one to find him first, so long ago, before they had been imprisoned, before Light had joined the investigation… she simply had to do it again. She needed to find Light. Ryuuzaki must be keeping him locked up in a dungeon somewhere. That nasty, horrible, terrible Ryuuzaki; she had to go rescue her Light.

"Obviously, he's not here."

Misa wheeled on the crouched figure, her temper flaring. Alarm bells began going off in her head—she shouldn't be showing her anger—but she flew by her inner codes of morality. She needed Light, biting off her question in the direction of the dark haired foreigner. "Then where is he?"

"I suppose… he is… nothing, now."

It was final. Misa knew what was supposed to happen to the users of the Death Notes. And if Ryuuzaki knew as well… had he witnessed Light's murder? Had he goaded Ryuk into killing her beloved? It was too much. Misa burst into tears and sank to the floor, in a sobbing heap.

"I-I- don't believe you," she tried, but even she knew she didn't mean it. "Just give Light back to me… please, Ryuuzaki,"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that." He must be completely heartless, she realized. He had killed Light. And he had said they were friends… the detective didn't move, impassive as his heart of black obsidian. From her place on the floor, Misa could only cry harder as world collapsed around her.

Light was gone.

Never would she hear his velvet voice telling her how he loved her or how she was his goddess. She would never see his perfect lips smiling as he swept a stray bit of hair back behind her ear. She could no longer slide her hands under his dress shirts, teasing the buttons apart so she could lean her head against his bare chest, listening to his heart. His beautiful chocolate eyes would never soften as he looked down at her so that she could see her own reflection suspended neatly inside him as he was inside of her.

Light, and everything that had made him Misa's god, was gone.

She was ripped from her world of misery by a sudden movement. Her teary eyes tried to focus, and she looked up to see the pale detective holding Rem's notebook, the one Light had been using. He set it down on the coffee table in front of him, and then reached into a briefcase that he must have already set on the table without her noticing. The pale, malnourished man pulled out a single sheet of paper, sliding it across the table to where Misa had been sitting.

"I need you to sign this confession that states you are the Second Kira. I also need you to give me the Death Note you have been using since I released you." His hand slunk back into the briefcase and produced a red fountain pen. It looked like something Light would have used. Another tear skated down her cheek, skirting her cheekbones for the path of least resistance.

"What's going to happen to me?" she asked, still hiccupping with the occasional sobs that refused to quit.

"Honestly?" Ryuuzaki's expression had never changed, his cold dark eyes hard on her form. She felt pitiful when she nodded up at him, but knew she had no choice.

"You will most likely receive the death penalty."

Death? For as often as she had knowingly dealt it, Misa had never believed the day would come when she would face it herself. What would happen if she died? Would anyone notice? Her fans would, of course, but—

Terror plucked a discordant chord within her. No, oh no, she couldn't die… not with… not with… Light's child.

"But… but… you can't do that!" she cried out, throwing a hand reflexively to her stomach. The maternal instinct hit her strong, her love for Light and whatever was his forcing her to protect her belly.

Ryuuzaki's eyes widened for a moment, the first example of a true expression she had ever seen from him, and it was focused on her hand. His dark eyes then shot to her face, his expression unreadable. Misa gulped in sweet air and salty tears, waiting. There was a long pause, filling only by the sounds of her sorrow.

"Is there any reason I can't?" He articulated each syllable very carefully. His expression was still an indecipherable mask.

"I-" Misa began, turning her eyes down and sniffling, "I wanted to tell Light first." She paused, gathering her thoughts. It wasn't fair that the first person she had to break the news to was Ryuuzkai. "I'm—"

The sound of ripping paper cut off the rest of her pronouncement and she glanced up quickly. It was the unsigned confession. Ryuuzaki had… ripped it apart? The man continued to shred the pieces even smaller, only adding to Misa's sense of bewilderment and confusion that accompanied her loss. She was afraid, desolated, abandoned already… now what was happening? He wasn't going to make her sign her own death warrant?

"Miss Amane, where is the other Death Note?" The hunched detective made it sound more like a statement than a question. Of course he knew she had it… but it probably wouldn't be very long for him to find it, but…

Misa wiped at her face, smearing her hastily applied make-up, but perhaps she was finally understanding what Ryuuzaki was doing. Would he save Light's child?

"In the apartment…" she answered slowly, watching him with sparkling eyes filled with her only hope, "You're not going to kill me?"

"You will discard the notebook."

XOXOXOXO

She did it for Light, for his child, so that it could grow up with at least a mother, if not a father.

"I discard it."

XOXOXOXO

November 30, 2007

"Misa." Sachiko answered the door, a handkerchief still held near her face. Her eyes filled with tears as she drank in the sight of the teen idol in mourning. "It's thoughtful of you to stop by. Come in."

Misa nodded deeply, and slipped off her shoes just inside, placing them neatly on the floor facing towards the door. Straightening up, she took a steadying breath and followed Light's mother into the sitting room.

"It's Misa," the older woman said as the model rounded the corner. The heavy atmosphere of grief was stifling in the small room. Souichiro simply held his head in his hands, and Misa could almost see the man berating himself for allowing his son to participate in such a dangerous case. Sayu Yagami sat on the couch, her feet tucked up underneath her and clutching a pillow. The soft green fabric was stained darker with her tears. The high-school girl looked up, the ghost of a smile crossing her lips for a moment, before she looked away. Misa knew how she felt; meeting someone else's eyes was so difficult when she knew she was mere heartbeats from crying again. There was something vulnerable in letting another person see into her eyes, like they could read her innermost thoughts, recognize her deepest pain. It was only worse when that person also felt that pain.

"I'll make you some tea," Sachiko said, touching Misa's shoulder for the briefest of moments before heading into the kitchen.

"Thank you," Misa whispered, unable to trust her normal speaking voice. Simply being here, surrounded by Light's grieving family was almost too much for her to bear. She sat quickly, and gripped the fabric of her black skirt over her knees, bowing her head.

Why did Light have to fight against Kira? Why, why, why would Kira have killed her Light? He had been such a wonderful man… perfect, even.

The tears fell again, making faint splashes on her white knuckles. Misa felt Sachiko enter the room, another presence to share in the anguish. How it hurt, ached deep into her soul.

"Have some tea, Misa," Sachiko said gently, holding out a freshly poured cup.

Misa took it carefully, trusting her hands more than her tear-distorted sight. She let out a choked sigh, squeezing her eyes shut tightly for a moment. It was now or never, she thought.

"Mr. Yagami? Mrs. Yagami? And Sayu…" Misa began, drawing their attention one by one. She looked them each into their woeful eyes, searching their souls through the glimpse and finding that it so resembled her own scarred spirit. "I have… something to tell all of you."

It was harder than she had thought. Misa swallowed a sob, and bit her lip. She couldn't cry it out just yet, she had to get her point across first. She had to tell them… Light's family waiting with expectant and profoundly sorrow-filled faces. She owed this to them… owed it to Light….

"Before—" Misa began and then realized she may never finish if she started that way. She took a heaving breath, staring down at the backs of her hands. "No, it's that… Light and I… we never married…."

Misa glanced up and then realized she couldn't withstand the force of the compassion held in the eyes of Light's parents. She felt the tears begin to stream down her face. It was too much, she missed Light too much.

"I never got to tell him," Misa managed to speak, even though her voice was breaking. Her heart was breaking, had broken, was gone, gone like Light. She brought her face up to look imploringly at Sachiko and Souichiro, and saw her own tears of loss mirrored on their older faces. The model shook her head, blond hair shimmering among the reflections cast by the light off her face. She bit her lip, eyebrows wrenching together, her face a beautiful painting of utter despair.

"I'm going to have his child, and… he never knew…." Her hand finally found their way to her face and she let herself go, crying as hard as she could. She was relieved to have finally told them, but still, it was…too much. It was all too hard right now. She hadn't wanted Light to leave her; she didn't want to be alone. Nine months… it was all too much. Hiccupping sobs became panicked gasps for air; how had she ever expected to survive without Light, let alone raise the baby?

Distantly, she heard the sounds of Sayu's sobs growing louder, and felt more than heard Light's mother move next to her. Sachiko's arms gently enveloped her, a warm comfort. It was like having her own mother back again, rocking Misa slowly back and forth as she cried about the silly, inconsequential things of girlhood. Misa didn't _want_ to stop crying, because if she did, she might have to do something, to face something, to stand up and act like an adult. Sachiko was murmuring into Misa's blonde hair, her breath a small comfort in itself.

"Even amidst all of our grief and death… you… my _daughter_… can bring us joy and life." The woman choked on the words, and Misa felt the same constriction in her own throat that kept her words down and only allowed her to cry and nod helplessly, spilling tears onto the woman's shoulder.

For the first time, Misa felt a tiny blossom of hope. Even without Light… though it was certainly her beloved Light's lingering presence that made it possible… even alone… Misa did not have to be alone. Underneath her pain and the emptiness that had filled her chest when Light had left it torn open, she found the tiniest bud, the smallest flower of faith.

Though Light was not with her, though he could not be with her, through him she still found her salvation. Though she could no longer have that perfect family with Light coming home to ask how their child was doing in school, and giving Misa a peck on the cheek before scooping up their running child in his arms… though that life was no longer Misa's… she still had a family, through Light.

Misa suddenly felt another pair of arms, and blinked wearily. Sachiko moved to make room for her own daughter, embracing the two equally as Sayu's head softly thudded against Misa's.

She let out a shuddering breath, trying to expel her grief. She tried to pull in something else with her next breath, something familiar and warm. Something she remembered faintly, and as she felt Sachiko's arms tighten around her, Misa remembered. She remembered the feeling of unconditional love, and suddenly perceived that feeling was here, too. For her, for this family, for what they all shared for Light.

Misa cried again and again, with her family, and without them. She would always miss Light, she knew. She knew there would be days when she would watch the rain slide down the window and cry, or walk into Light's room and sit on his bed without realizing that hours passed as she did so. But she also knew that she carried a future with her, not just within her expanding belly, but within her mind and memories as well.

She could love, and was loved, and she was going to do more than survive. She would _live_, for Light's family, for her baby, and for herself.

It was what Light would have wanted.

XOXOXOXO

_So, many thanks to Tobi Tortue, who I made rewrite the ending in better detail because she and I didn't like the original very much and she rocks like that. Other than that, this chapter is rather much the same. Thanks for reading and please read a review!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Mitsuki**

**Misa's Devotion**

XOXOXOXO

February 14 (11 weeks and Thursday)

Misa was sick. And it was hell, pure unadulterated hell. Why, oh why, had she ever thought pregnancy would be a good thing?

Wait, that had been when she had assumed Light would be there to take care of her. It was Valentine's Day for God's sake… and it was the first Valentine's Day that she was alone since she began attending school. She'd never been alone on Valentine's Day before. She felt the tears beginning to leak through her eyes, and her chin begin to shake. This sucked. She drew in a breath of air, letting it whistle between her teeth and indrawn lips.

"There, there," Sachiko murmured gently, holding Misa's sweaty hair away from the toilet bowel. It was growing in quite black at the roots, having been several weeks since Misa had last gotten it dyed. Like she cared about it at the moment.

Misa felt her insides twist and convulse inside out and she dry heaved again. God, it was painful. It wasn't fair that she had to start every morning this way, it really wasn't. Why had she let Light do this to her? Sure, it had been nice, unbelievable great in fact, but she really should have stayed on the pill. What she really should have done was sniff the stupid lemon or ginger as soon as she woke up like the doctor had suggested.

"Sayu? Can you get me a cold cloth please?" the older woman called gently out the door. Footsteps pattered quickly into the washroom. The tap turned on, and the sound of rushing water did nothing to soothe Misa's concerns, the pain wracking her stomach with icy hot knives.

"I hate this," Misa muttered, tears trailing down her flushed and sweaty face.

"I'm back." Sayu appeared in the doorway, the wet cloth still dripping droplets to the floor. Sachiko reached out and took the cloth from her with her free hand and used it to gently wipe Misa's face. Sayu remained in the doorway, trying to figure out if there was some way she could help.

"We'll be fine here, Sayu," Sachiko said to her unspoken question. "Have a nice day at school, okay?"

Sayu nodded, leaving the scene to her mother, a much more experienced woman. Misa retched again, wishing that she too could run off to anywhere else besides the small room. She had been running in here every morning since her sixth week of pregnancy and it was really, _really_ starting to wear down her nerves.

XOXOXOXO

Week of March 26, 2008 (18 weeks since Light's death)

"MOTHER!!!" Misa shouted, her voice echoing throughout the house, both hands firmly on her abdomen.

Sachiko's heavy footsteps trampled down the stairs in her hurry, and she nearly lost her balance as she turned the corner towards the sitting room where Misa was sitting up on the couch. Misa looked up to see the older woman wearing an expression of fear and concern, her eyes immediately going to Misa's belly.

"Misa, is everything alright? What's the matter?" Her voice was breathless.

Misa felt a twinge of guilt for making the woman worry, but it quickly disappeared as she felt _something_ again. Looking down, she felt like her cheeks would split from smiling so hard, and she almost couldn't believe it, but it _must_ have been the baby. It was _moving_. She looked up to her foster mother, and it took Misa a moment to realize she hadn't answered Sachiko's question yet.

"The baby… I can feel the baby!" Misa answered gleefully, her hands still over stomach even though it was more of an internal feeling. It felt like… bubbles. In her tummy. Misa giggled, her happiness infectious enough to make her nearly delirious.

Sachiko sighed, clearly relieved, and then caught a bit of Misa's joy, chuckling at her own worry.

"Misa…" she began wearily, but couldn't keep the seriousness of her tone in her message, "You shouldn't do that to someone of my age. I thought something was wrong."

"I'm sorry, but it's just… it's just that I'm _sure_ it was the baby!" Nothing could bring her down from this high and she giggled again, hugging her stomach and leaning against the back of the couch. "It's _mov-_ing. It's _mov-_ing. It's _mov-_ing," she sang to herself.

Sachiko gave up, laughing at the pregnant woman's antics, and unwilling to keep her from her obvious delight. She sat down next to Misa on the couch, feeling like a younger girl herself.

"Let's do something fun today, mother," Misa began suddenly, sitting up again and trying to keep the giggles down. She took Sachiko's hands in her own, and looked earnestly into her brown eyes, mock doubtful as they were.

"Are you saying I don't do anything fun, Misa?" Sachiko asked with a hint of slyness.

"Noooo," Misa drawled out, drowning into a fit of giggles before taking a deep breath and straightening up again. Her voice was now calmer, but still the slightly-faster-than-normal speed gave the young woman away. "Why don't we go shopping? For _baby_ clothes!"

"Misa… we don't even know whether it's a baby boy or a baby girl," Sachiko reminded her gently.

"I don't care. Let's go anyway. We'll just get some unisex baby things. We need to do _something_ to celebrate. Oh, please?" Misa tried her best pout, batting her eyelashes like a poorer actress than she really was.

Sachiko laughed, shaking her head hopelessly, and Misa realized she had won.

"Yaaay!" Misa shouted brightly and hugged her Light's mother fiercely, before jumping up and hurrying to her room to get dressed.

Today, for the first time in a long time, felt like a day for celebrating.

XOXOXOXO

Week of April 16, 2008 (20 weeks since Light's death)

Modeling had its unexpected benefits to being pregnant, Misa had realized. Keeping all the scheduled doctor's appointments had been a breeze compared to the summer swimsuit and yukata seasons of her later teenage years. She had even managed to slip a few photo-shoots in for a maternity magazine, despite Light's mother's fear that Misa was overdoing it. But standing on her sore feet and posing for a few photos weren't Misa's top concern in returning to the modeling world; it was what everyone would say about Misa-Misa's sudden removal from the show business and her pregnancy with an obvious lack of a significant other. Scandalous? Certainly.

To avoid the media's love of crushing popular idols, Misa had told everyone in the industry that she had married Light in secret. Light's father had been somewhat disapproving of the idea, but Sachiko became Misa's staunch supporter, even vouching for the marriage to any paparazzi reporters. Having never spoken much with Light's mother during the time she had dated Light, it had been easy to overlook Sachiko in the beginning. But as Misa began to integrate into the Yagami family household, Sachiko became her closest friend, ignoring the vast differences in their respective ages. It was Sachiko who connected her to the best doctors, helped her through her morning sickness, taught her how to cook, advised her on how to take care of herself, and accompanied her to every appointment.

Misa had lost count of the number of appointments that had already passed, but it was a Wednesday, so she counted the weeks since… Light had never come home. It was twenty weeks now without him, but Misa had learned something that could cheer her up on this Wednesday. Her baby was a little girl. Light's daughter. Misa found herself wrapping her arms around her stomach at the thought. She wanted so desperately for his daughter to be born already. Would she look like him? Perhaps have his almond-chocolate eyes, wide in innocence and beauty? Would she have his silky hair? His perfect teeth?

"She's going to be so beautiful," Sachiko whispered, sharing a smile with her almost daughter-in-law and hugging her shoulders tightly. Misa giggled in appreciation, unable to contain her bubbly giddiness.

"I love her already, Sachiko," Misa replied, hugging herself tighter.

XOXOXOXO

Week of April 23, 2008 (21 weeks since Light's death)

Names… they were so important, weren't they? They represented a unique individual with a single word. Or two words, Misa thought suddenly, thinking of family names. Still, Light's daughter's given name was the only one that she had the power to choose.

It was frustrating, not knowing what Light would have wanted. It was keeping her awake again this night, like it had the night before. The importance of naming their child and it was all up to her. It was kind of frightening to have to do it by herself; she knew Light would have thought up something perfect nearly right away—he was so smart.

Potential names wound their girly ways through her mind, but the more she tried to think about them, the more problems she saw with them. Drop the last syllable and that one becomes an insult. This one was a pretty name, but Misa had known a _Shizuko_ who had been such a bitch. She'd always found _ko_ names to be cute, but they were so common and Light's daughter deserved something unique and special. Like her father's name had been.

"Ugggh," Misa moaned to herself in the dark, running a hand through her hair and sitting up in bed. Why was this so difficult?!

Misa had never been a binge eater, but every now and then when the stress from poor managers got to her, she relieved her anxiety through cookie dough. And even though she knew she should only eat healthy food, high in vitamins and minerals, the craving was really strong. Perhaps her daughter, whatever her name might be, craved sweets too? It was always a good idea to listen to your cravings when you're pregnant right?

She tiptoed down to the kitchen, knowing that if Sachiko caught her, she'd been in some trouble. Not that Misa was planning on eating a lot, just….

Turning on the light only in the kitchen, Misa took a spoon from the drawer and the store-bought dough from the refrigerator, careful to make as little noise as possible. Sayu slept in the room closest to the kitchen, and Misa still wasn't sure what the high-schooler thought of her dead brother's pregnant girlfriend. She didn't think Sayu would tattle on her as long as she shared the cookie dough, but Misa didn't want to press the issue. She had enough on her mind with all the names floating around.

Sitting at the table, Misa scooped up a bit of the dough onto her spoon. She eyed it thoughtfully, before putting it into her mouth, the soft dough sticking to the spoon more than her tongue. What would Light have named their daughter?

Light…. How to make something as unique and all-encompassing as Light's name?

It was really pronounced as an English name, and she knew it would be spelled in romaji as L-I-G-H-T. Still, she had always wanted to believe the first letter could be an R because she had always believed he was _right_. To her, he had been both righteous and the sun at the center of her world. Misa sighed. Ironic how his kanji had been simply moon, and he had been her sun. She swallowed and reached for another spoonful. It was painful trying to think of him this objectively, but she ignored the pricks of tears at the corner of her eyes. Perhaps he had been the light that shone in the darkness… without him, was it now her new moon?

New moon? In a way, that's what his daughter was, right? Another Light? A new and beautiful moon?

_Mitsuki_. Beautiful moon.

It sounded right, Misa decided, the stress replaced with a sleepy satisfaction. She put away the cookie dough and returned to her room. She'd ask Sachiko what she thought of it in the morning, but for now, she could go back to sleep.

XOXOXOXO

Misa sat bolt upright. She knew this feeling.

She caught the light switch, bathing the room in sudden brightness, while stuffing her feet into slippers. Without pausing, she ran from the room.

Yes. She knew this feeling. She just needed to make it to….

The bathroom door was already slightly ajar, and Misa silently blessed whoever had left it that way even as she fought down the waves of nausea and bile rising in her throat. Head over the toilet, one hand on the floor, the other on her belly, she swore she'd never eat cookie dough again.

"Misa?" Sachiko's worried voice came from behind her.

"…Good morning, mother," Misa managed weakly, unable to think of anything else to say at the moment and already drained from her ordeal. She looked up at her foster mother and tried to smile.

"Has it passed now?" Sachiko pressed gently, bending to help the younger woman off the floor.

"Uh-huh," Misa replied, accepting the help gratefully, "I think so."

"I'm going to make you some tea, alright? You just sit down and keep yourself comfortable." The older woman's voice was soothing and comforting in its authority. Misa was good at taking directions, and not having to think for herself at the moment minimized the stress.

Sachiko stepped around Misa and flushed the toilet, before leading the pregnant woman out to the kitchen and helping her into a chair. Misa watched as Sachiko began preparing tea for the both of them. The air was relaxed and Misa found herself wanting to go back to sleep. She _had_ been up rather late the night before.

Stupid cookie dough.

"I hope everything's alright, Misa," Yagami Sachiko said, drawing Misa away from her inner musings with a grave tone. "You shouldn't be throwing up this far in... is this the first time since you stopped having morning sickness?"

Amane nodded, a shot of fear accelerating through her for a moment as she realized that Sachiko was worried about a miscarriage. Misa, on the other hand, knew the real reason for her… sickness. Not that she could tell Sachiko she had been up eating cookie dough because she had felt stressed. Misa looked down, and decided on a half-truth, brushing her uncombed bangs out of her eyes. "I think I stayed up too late last night or something."

Misa looked up in time to catch Sachiko's accusing glare, putting Misa on the defense.

"I was thinking of names! I couldn't help it, mother."

Sachiko smiled, and Misa allowed her pout to transform a bit into a matching smile. She figured that Sachiko must have been the same way when she had been pregnant with Light and then Sayu. It was rather exhilarating, in a way, and sometimes the excitement was more than sleep permitted.

"Did you think of anything you liked?" Sachiko asked, checking whether the tea was fully steeped.

Misa nodded again, thinking of the night before. She _had_ come up with something she really liked, but Sachiko's opinion meant a lot. "But… but I wanted to know your opinion before I really decided. She's your granddaughter."

Misa realized she must have caught her foster mother off guard. She paused for a moment before setting the tea on the table, frozen in place for a moment. "Thank you, Misa," she said with quiet sincerity.

Sachiko sat opposite from Misa and poured the tea, sitting straighter and smiling brightly. Misa recognized the look as the one everyone had when they were really thinking about Light. Misa knew, because she felt that it had become her permanent expression in the months directly following Light's death. And in the same fashion, Misa ignored the sadness beneath Sachiko's countenance. Instead she inspected the tea cup in great detail before taking a careful sip so she wouldn't burn her tongue. She waited a few moments and took a steadying breath.

"Mitsuki..." she said, her eyes seeking approval from Light's mother, "I wanted to spell it with 'beautiful' and 'moon.' For her father…"

Sachiko's expression was enough to make Misa trail off. There was the smile that told of Light, and yet the sadness was fully present on her face as well. Sachiko's smile shone through the tears that were now leaking out from her eyes, a heartbreaking effort because of the pain of losing Light. Misa understood, feeling Light's loss keenly again and yet… yet… it was a good name. This meant… it was a good name. Sachiko was smiling and crying and nodding, her hand suddenly reaching out and taking Misa's, reaffirming their own existences with the touch of their fingers. Misa found herself bawling, the tears flowing freely down her face, cleansing away her doubts. It had been almost a week since she had last cried, and it felt refreshing. And while normally crying in another's presence made her feel stupid, with Sachiko crying with her, she somehow felt connected and loving instead.

"I think it's perfect, Misa," Sachiko murmured, wiping the tears from her eyes. Looking into Misa's clearing eyes, she cupped a hand to the younger woman's cheek. "…My daughter."

"Thank you," Misa replied, her own tears abating with a sigh.

She put a hand to her stomach, as if she could pat the unborn daughter's head. It had always felt somehow unfair that she couldn't see Light's daughter already. To remedy that, Misa kept a copy of the first—and only—baby picture she had on her person. She took out the photo, all shades of grey. However, having so often seen the picture, Misa's eyes were trained to pick out the round little head and faint depressions of the baby's facial features. She set the picture down on the table so that Sachiko could see as well, noticing the other woman's indulging smile. She probably thought Misa was cute for keeping the copy with her at all times. Still, Misa found bubbles tickling up through her stomach as she looked at Light's daughter, one hand still over her stomach where the baby slept.

"Hi there, Mistuki," she cooed.

XOXOXOXO

* * *

_Ahahaha, not the first thing most people thought I would update, but still. If you haven't already, I recommend starting (or refreshing yourselves) on AfterLife because that'll post up next and I assume you love Death Note if you're reading this. Like always, please leave reviews so I know how I'm doing. Thanks for reading!_


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